Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Randomize
