batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
