It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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