Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
