Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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