remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
