I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
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