clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
