This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
