im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Randomize
