I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
