i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
