high people should be assigned attendants
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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