She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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