Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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