i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
