dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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