Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
