Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
