i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
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