And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
