so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
She bit a glass in half.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
