I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
