what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Randomize
