So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
