I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I don't deserve a penis
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
