Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
