I like my sex mixed with concussions.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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