I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Randomize
