her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Randomize
