I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
