so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
she pinky promised me she was 18
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize