After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I believe in your delicious
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
