had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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