What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Randomize
