So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
