omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
