I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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