My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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