Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
i just sent this text using only my big toe
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
