I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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