I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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