The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize