I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Randomize