your parents love me but you hate me
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
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