No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
