They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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