that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Randomize
