I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
