One girl and one boy is just not enough.
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
