this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
