ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
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