My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
