I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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