Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
