What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
