I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
