my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
