$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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