He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize