my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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