Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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