why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
